Some things last a lifetime.
And some things don’t and we are meant to say goodbye.
He was always there. It was not so much that he made his presence known unless he had to, it was more the sense of his there-ness. No matter what happened, he was always there, in the background, his quiet strength sustaining me. When we lost our daughter, when our son took his first steps, when that same son graduated and when our first grandchild was born. He was always there.
It was the little things that made his presence known. Holding open a door for me, seating me before himself, ensuring that my life wants and needs were met before his own. Things that most have to work for were as second nature to him as breathing.
That is not to say we didn’t have our arguments. The times we fought over silly things, our son’s shoes for instance. He thought they were girly, and I thought they were fine. Our son didn’t keep them. Or the times we fought over big things. Like whether to move from one town to another. I won that one.
He was such a gentleman always, when we were young and her carried me over the threshold of our first home, all the way till when we were, dare I say it, old. And he held my arm and held the umbrella over both of us as the rain drizzled, then poured. We always took our afternoon walk together. Rain or shine, every afternoon. And I will never forget our last walk. It was almost as if he knew. As we waited on the corner on that rainy day, underneath the umbrella waiting for the green light so we could cross. He looked down at me with that smile of his. Slightly lopsided from 12 to 92.
“What is it?” I asked, with a tilt of my head.
His smile widened. “Can’t a man smile at his beautiful wife?”
I rolled my eyes. “Your wife ceased to be beautiful a long time ago in case you hadn’t noticed. These wrinkles have wreaked havoc on my complexion.” I struck a fashion model pout. I probably looked ridiculous with my crows feet.
“Those wrinkles have made you even more beautiful. And you could never cease to be beautiful. Ever. Your heart is what is beautiful and shines through in your face. Darling, I love your heart.”
A tear started to my eye. My darling man.
The next morning after I woke, I thought I would let him sleep in since he had seemed tired the night before. But when I finally went to wake him, I realized that he never would wake up, that indeed, he had awakened that morning in heaven with the angels and on his knees before the throne.
I miss my husband. I am human. But my love for him could never die.
Love is timeless.

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By God’s Grace,
Victoria